YOU ARE NOT ALONE
How I Broke Free From a Narcissistic
Relationship to Find Myself Again
ABOUT THE BOOK
I was raped. It happened in my own bed by someone I loved and trusted. It doesn’t matter if he did it in his sleep and claims he was unaware of what he did. I was asleep too. I did not consent to it. I woke to find him forcibly entering me, tearing me, causing me incredible pain. And it continues – both physically and mentally. When I showed him the evidence of what he did to me, he left me to strip the bed and get rid of the marks, my blood on the sheet. Never once did he say he was sorry or ask if there was anything he could do to help. Instead, he went to the gym. That was more important.
Unfortunately, this has happened to many others as well. We wear the guilt like a cloak, even though the guilt is not ours. It wears us down, eating away at our self-esteem and our ability to cope and function in the real world. So, we hibernate, spiralling down into depression and self-loathing, cutting ourselves off from family and friends.
This was true narcissistic behaviour and wasn’t the only time he used ways to control me. At the same time, they watch, never offering a lifebuoy to save us from the place we find ourselves in.
I’m lucky, I’m a survivor, though it has taken time and lots of therapy. I’m writing this story to help others know they can claw their way up and out of the dark tunnel and be survivors, too.
Writing has been a passion for most of my life, starting with a poem published in 1974, while I was still in high school. I look forward to having time in the future to hone my craft to write and publish many more books.
Annie Chandler
ABOUT ANNIE
I am a proud mother to three wonderful children and a cherished Grannie to three beautiful grandchildren, who, along with my beloved partner, Phil, and my dachshund, Biskit, are the most important people in my life. Running a very close second is a small and select group of the best friends one can have as support. How lucky am I?
After being a Special Education Needs teacher for thirty-five years, I retired from the Education Department to concentrate full-time on my writing career.
However, I have not yet completed my role as a teacher. I will be conducting writing groups, Rambling Writers (for adults) and Young Ramblers (for students), both in person and via Zoom. Additionally, I will maintain my regular blog, Annie’s Rambles.
I have published eight books to date, with two more forthcoming. These books are: THE FLOWER QUARTET: A Daisy in the Field, A Lily in the Valley, A Rose in the Garden and A Poppy in the Meadow, which are about four women over three generations in the one family who have been affected by war in some way. The genre is Romantic Drama.
The AGING Series: Sixty & Sassy: Aging Disgracefully has been published, while Fifty & Flirty: Fishing from a Stagnant Pond is currently being written. These are my take on these decades of my life, and they fall within the Humour genre.
I have also written a book for each of my grandchildren. These will be in a series called LOVE THE GRANDIES; BELLA: Beautiful Dancer, CONNOR: Blue Lightning, which are both Young Adult books, whereas RUBIE, Rubster is a children’s picture book, and was nominated for the Premier’s Book Award in 2023.
The non-fiction book I am currently spending a lot of time thinking about and writing is titled: You Are Not Alone: My Escape from a Narcissistic Relationship to Find Myself Again. It is a factual account of what happened to me, and unfortunately, it will resonate with many other people.